I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
We're too hungover to prance.
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