Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
