dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
