Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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