i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
