Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
