Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
