The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
