No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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