you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Randomize
