I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
