I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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