Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
