i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
