When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize