i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
