so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
