apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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