dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
