Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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