She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
