It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
