they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
