if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
