need another drink. this is the easiest way
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
