Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
