It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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