This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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