you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I fill condoms, not promises.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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