I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
