I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
