They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize