3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
