I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize