8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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