Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
