Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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