My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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