I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
