yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
We need to get me chipped asap
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