let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I have surprise drugs for everyone
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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