everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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