I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
