Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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