he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
areolas are like halos for boobs.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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