I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Randomize
