Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
She even gives head with a lisp.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
