You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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