I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize