all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
