not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
