Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
