what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
