You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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