If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
