So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
