my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize