Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
