We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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