Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
