Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize