Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
