i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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